Italia

Not going to happen: Sleeping past 11am for many days, not wanting experiences, not wanting adventure, making excuses

--
She loves adventure, loves new people and places, loves to laugh, smile, interact, dance, experience life and music, culture, the world!

To quote an overused Robert Frost poem:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

--
When time comes to be completely independent in a foreign land, I hope I am able to go the right way and recognize when I need change or re-evaluation.

Contentment

Jesu Mix by Explosions in the Sky

Float
Fly
Soar
Relax
Breathe deep
Heart beats
Body sways
Emotions swell

Ebb and flow

Cool breeze

Dance, ..dance


Waves crashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
CRASH!
Flow ouuuuuuuuuttttt
CRASH!

Awwwwwwhhh
Ooooooooooh
Mmmmmm

Breathe in
Breathe out

Float

Beauty

One o' those

I am telling myself I'm not feeling something that I am obviously feeling. It's like I deny it in so many ways, but then deep deep down somewhere in my subconscious--or somewhere in my heart--I know it's there.

See Right Through Me by Mobile = this is, "one o' those songs" for me

"one o' those songs"
it's a memory
full of emotion
eyes closed tight
wide sound

Violet Hill

So. Coldplay has a new single. It just came out this past week (Tues. 4/29) and it completely has blown me A-WAYYY.

Violet Hill by Coldplay.

There are so many things about this song that get me.. The beginning starts by quietly pulling you out into space. The chilling voice of Chris Martin, a few chords being struck on the piano, the immediate marching beat... It completely takes a hold of me and my body from the beginning; I cannot help but close my eyes and move to the beat.. The beat... The beat.. The beat.. it's consistent. So consistent throughout the entirety of the song. The guitar and the drums are heavy and intense. When the march stops and the song is nearly ending...... Martin's voice calms down, the piano is slow; you can hear distinct notes and not just the pounding chords. This quiet ending... this soft, beautiful ending.... It gives me the chills. If I'm listening via headphones and get the whole experience? Yeah, I won't lie--my eyes water up a bit. Not even listening to the words of the song... it's the way Chris Martin sings it... the way the song is so intense and then all of a sudden it floats in space again.. I become overwhelmed with emotion. It's so beautiful! So powerful!

These are the songs I live for!

I'm home

I'm back home from school. It's a little weird to be back so far but it's not bad.

My first mission is to donate 1/2 of my clothes and get rid of all the junk I have collected for the past 20 years. It looks as though a bomb went off in my room; it's a total disaster! I've done pretty well with the clothes part, but as always.. I hesitate to donate a lot of it because, "Oh I'll need that one day."

Talk about distractions. Sheesh I am such a case of ADD today. Bumping around forgetting things, getting distracted, changing my mind. Bleh. Alright.

My second mission is to find myself a job I enjoy. At first I was thinking it'd be fun to work in a restaurant. Now I am thinking I'd rather work at Silver Platters. I am going to go in tomorrow and see if I can meet a manager and maybe apply for a job there. The hours are 10am-10pm Monday thru Saturday and 10am-7pm on Sundays. It might suck to have to work on weekends but I'd have fun I think.

Okay enough for now I'm too much of a space case to make much sense.

If we were all naked

Originally this was a response to my sister's blog, Au Naturale. But because I have found that I ramble very easily off the earth and back again, it became rather long and I have decided to post it here and let my brain continue to ramble without thinking "Man, this is too long for a comment." In any case, here it is:

If we were all naked, shaving wouldn't be a daily concern--it'd be an absurd idea, for both sexes. Why get rid of that natural warmth? If we were all naked, transgenders would have it a little more rough than they already do. Running would not be fun--for women or for men. Extreme sports? Hmm. We'd probably have a lot of calusses from various activities, including sitting on our bums. Perhaps skin cancer would be more of a problem than it is today, or we would have developed an immunity to it.

As far as the emotional side, man.. I don't know. There wouldn't be that freedom of expression via our clothing. How can you be respectful at a funeral? How do you show professionalism in an office setting or at an interview? Comb your body hair? Would it be fun to go to Prom? How could sexy, modest, hippie, granola, preppy, goth, etc, be portrayed? Or would these things not exist in appearance... but only through our actions and words? Stereotyping would be completely different.

After rambling a bit, I think clothing would have been inevitable as a human race. But maybe my opinion is skewed because clothing is such a normal idea to me and to our society.. I can't seem to imagine life or comfort without it..

I wonder what it is like to live in a nudist colony. I bet there have been experiments or interviews done with nudist colonies. I would love to hear why they prefer that particular lifestyle and what drove them to do so. Wouldn't it be an interesting test of character to live in a nudist colony for a year? Wow! I can imagine it would be awkward for a few days or a week and then I would get used to it. As long as the people around me were regular nudists and weren't just thrown into it like I would be throwing myself into it.

Here's a thought. So they say, some or most men, or all men, undress women with their eyes when they are sexually attracted to them. If we were all naked, all the time, what would replace these thoughts? What would replace scantily clad women? Stripping, skinny-dipping, streaking, indescent exposure... all invalid.

For some reason, I cannot seem to imagine our world today, with all the technology and advancements we have.. with no clothing. We have amazing shelters, showers, toilets, cars.. can you imagine sitting on leather seats in the nude? We have umbrellas. Isn't that some form of clothing? Something to protect us from natural elements?

Who's idea was it that being wet from rain was a bad thing? Rain is beautiful! It's clean! It's fresh! It helps provide growth in all things living! What made someone decide we should stay out of the rain? Someone with clothes? They didn't want to get their clothing wet because they would then become cold.

Man I'm tired.

The hardest button to button

New clean look. I like this layout--it's fresh and not so restricting. I have found that my posts become rather long so a skinny column doesn't do much for the reader.

Currently listening to: Hey You by Pink Floyd on pandora.com. Pandora is an excellent website for when I am in the lab for animation and have forgotten my iPod. I just type in an artist that I am in the mood for, and out pops tons of songs that fit. For No One by The Beatles.

Today was an odd mix. It started out with me running out of my room down the hall and down the stairs out the front door... to watch my bus drive by. Woops! Not a good start. So I ate breakfast, vanilla soy milk and SmartStart, and caught the next one; I was only 6 minutes late. We talked about mindfulness again, my excessive sleeping.. again, and my current development of having not so many friends. Automatic Stop by The Strokes. I really like the mindfulness strategy, hopefully I can make that work when it needs to. My sleeping? Yeah. Slept 'til 2pm yesterday. Don't get me wrong I LOVE sleeping--it's just that it is starting to actually become embarrassing when I'm late somewhere or my roommate comes back from class and I'm still in bed. I have also found that I am starting to think of it as a waste of time, a waste of a day. Mornings are so peaceful, so full of fresh air and pleasant sounds. The Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse. In any case, the resulting strategy is this: create a routine in the morning that involves something that I love to do and would just love to get of bed for. "Sacrifice your comfort," she says. "Be willing to leave that warm, comfy bed.. just throw off those covers!" Currently my only idea is to do some morning yoga. Maybe drink some tea and check my email. Sounds like a pretty easy routine right? We'll see. Starting tomorrow. Shiver (Live) by Coldplay. Now, as far as this friend thing goes--I know I have friends. It's just that sometimes I feel a little alone in a crowd. Even with ample opportunity to make new friends or strike up a conversation, all I can think about is "I am such a loner, I have no friends!" I know it isn't true. In fact, I have some really quality friends that I wouldn't trade for the world. None of them were around that day. Oh well, life goes on right?

Starlight by Muse. Resulting goals from session 5:
1. Continue to be mindful
2. Start a morning routine
3. Call acquaintances to hang out and get to know them--provide friends for myself
4. Write down my "pitfalls", (things that are showing signs I am getting depressed again), so that when I am in Italy, I can remember that list, and keep myself in check
5. Make a schedule for when I will talk to my family/friends when in Italy

Heart In A Cage by The Strokes. Words I repeated to myself as I walked the entire way home:
Mindfulness, Consistence, Routine...Mindful, Consistent, Routine. Be mindful, create consistency, start a routine...

The Hardest Button to Button by The White Stripes.

The Bastards Have Landed by Logh. The rest of my day went alright. I finished my final project for a class (a website), and was then 10 minutes late. I told the kid I always sit next to I fell asleep and my roommate came back to our room and woke me. Yeah, so I lied; it didn't hurt anyone did it? In any case, it was my day to present. Fortunately I knew what I was talking about and didn't need to prepare an actual speech. I most likely got an A.

Drink to Moving On by Grand National. Yoga was beautiful tonight. It felt so wonderful. Danielle was so happy to see me. She always leads the most amazing routines that leave me feeling at peace, relaxed, refreshed.. Read My Mind by The Killers. I will miss her soothing voice guiding my practice and her laugh at the end of every class. I have learned a lot from her. The last few classes the sun has been setting over the course of the hour we are there. The windows that span the length of the wall.. and their reflection on the mirror at the side of the room.. Oh man. The natural lighting and the colors are just phenomenal. We are so lucky to have gotten that room at the time that we did. Remind Me by Royksopp.